ON THE BLOG

Imagination is not separate from how we experience ourselves. It participates in creating that experience. When visualization is carefully and purposefully constructed, it is more than picturing something we hope will happen. It can engage emotion, sensation, memory, symbolism, expectation, and the unconscious mind.

Maybe you explained yourself repeatedly, but the other person seemed to hear only criticism. Maybe you felt blamed for everything that had happened, or you became so focused on what the other person had done that you temporarily lost sight of how you were affecting them. A disagreement now became a struggle over who caused the problem, whose experience mattered, and who would have to give in.

Guide to understanding ambivalence and the role it plays in our life

Resistance refers to the ways we protect ourselves from experiences, awareness, or changes that feel threatening. Some resistance is conscious. We may know that we do not want to have a difficult conversation or tolerate temporary discomfort.

Healing often begins quietly. A breath that comes a little easier. A moment when the body softens. A sentence spoken out loud for the first time. A feeling of being heard without being rushed, fixed, or judged. These moments may seem small, but they are not. They are often the beginning of the nervous system learning something new. Connection can be safe. Why Being Seen Matters From a psychoanalytic perspective, connection is also part of how the self comes into being. We dis

Photo by Polina Lavor on Unsplash There are seasons when being alone feels like the only way to breathe. You stop answering messages. You cancel the plan. You tell yourself you just need space. And sometimes that is true. Solitude can be deeply restorative. It can give your body and mind the quiet they need to settle, reflect, and return. But there is another kind of aloneness that does not feel restorative. It feels protective. It feels like pulling the curtains closed aroun

You may understand the pattern. You may know where it came from. You may have journaled about it, talked about it, cried about it, and named it with clarity. You may even be able to explain it beautifully. And still, in the moment, you find yourself living from the old pattern again. This does not mean the insight was wasted. It means the insight has not yet become fully integrated. There is an important difference between knowing something and living it. Why Insight Matters

There are times we feel we are moving away from ourselves. Not dramatically, perhaps. Not all at once. More often, it happens quietly. We get busy. We respond to what is urgent. We care for others. We move through responsibilities, decisions, relationships, and transitions, and somewhere along the way, we lose touch with the deeper rhythm of our own inner life. The CARE Practice was created as a way to return. It is a simple four-part framework: Center, Attend, Reflect, and E

Some healing does happen in solitude. You can journal alone, meditate alone, walk through the woods, or sit with your dreams alone and begin to understand your inner world in the quiet privacy of your own reflection. There is deep value in solitude. Sometimes we need space away from other people’s expectations in order to hear what is most true for us. But we are not meant to heal only in isolation. So much of our wounding happens in relationship. And so much of our healing d

Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash There is a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from trying to do wellness perfectly. Eating the right things. Moving the right way. Meditating enough. Sleeping better. Managing emotions. Setting boundaries. Being grateful. Staying regulated. Even the practices that are meant to support us can become another place where we judge ourselves. Without realizing it, we can turn healing into another performance. Another standard to meet. Anoth

By identifying our triggers, implementing coping strategies, and practicing self-care, we can navigate our triggers with grace and resilienc

Five Reflective Practices for Developing Self-Awareness and Recognizing What We Cannot See Alone How are you doing right now? Not the answer you give automatically. Not the version shaped for the person asking. How are you, beneath the activity of your day? Many of us move quickly among work, family, friendship, caregiving, and responsibility. We may remain highly capable while losing contact with what we feel, need, fear, or long for. Self-reflection creates an opportunity t

The Nine Pillars of Holistic Health Editorial Note: This article was originally published as The Seven Pillars of Health. It has been substantially revised to reflect the expanded Nine Pillars framework I now use, and a more personal, integrated understanding of wellness. We are often taught to approach health as something we should achieve. Eat correctly. Exercise consistently. Sleep eight hours. Manage stress. Stay positive. Each recommendation may contain something useful.

Understanding the Hidden Patterns, Meanings, Memories, and Expectations That Influence Us Editorial Note: This article has been substantially expanded to make one of psychoanalysis’s most important ideas more accessible,and to show how the unconscious appears not only in therapy, but throughout ordinary life. Why do we repeatedly choose relationships that leave us feeling unseen? Why can a seemingly minor interaction produce an unexpectedly powerful reaction? Why do we procra

Three Mind-Body Practices for Listening, Regulating, and Responding Updated: August 2026 Stress is part of being alive. We experience it when something challenges, threatens, excites, stretches, or matters to us. Sometimes stress comes from pain, uncertainty, conflict, exhaustion, or demands that exceed our capacity. At other times, it accompanies experiences we genuinely want: creating something new, pursuing a meaningful goal, falling in love, traveling, leading, performing

AND HOW OUR EGO HELPS US MANAGE THE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SOCIAL DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES OF LIFE Our Ego helps us manage the necessary...